It takes all kinds of....... to make the world go round.
You can just fill in the blank.
I have understood that I am like the oracle somehow... here to unbalance the equation.
Unbalancing the feelings, the room, the meeting, the talk, the discussion, the fight, the walk, the game...
Why this is?
I have no idea.
Is it a good thing?
I have no idea...
Time to embrace it.
Not be afraid anymore.
Just open my life to it and let go.
Let it in and accept it.
Almost like drinking it in, let it consume you from within and just be.
Accepting ones fate might make it's holder happy, content and in love.
Feelings of love can be both dark and light.
Accept them both, even if the fate and love of the one holding them is dark.
Love counters everything.
March 9, 2013
February 23, 2013
Knowing nothingness. . .
The wholesale idea appeals to me. Nothingness. I have never really thought to much about the idea, but right now the concept seems rather a good one. Having nothingness, being nothingness and accepting the idea as the solution instead as the reason. Nothingness can be the answer. Imagne having no worries. No problems. Nothing. While everyone is all busy getting theirs I want nothing. Nothing more to think about, plan for, hope for, dream for, all of it actually is nothingness. No one will remember, even hoping for closure is worth .nothing. I give into it now. Never have done this before, made this decision to give up and just stop. Nothing is worthwhile if your heart and soul are not there anymore to guide you through the process of this horrific thing we call life. I have lost my compass and I don't know what to do. . When people who are supposed to love and protect us through the shadows turn out to be the monster under the bed, who can the child turn to and how does it know true love or even the signs of it?
Rely on yourself I always thought, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. . I don't believe that anymore. There are things in this life that will sit tight in your heart and soul, things that will eat away at a persons sanity, slowly but surely wearing the victim down until nothingness is all that is left.
Nothing left but the shell of this life that was or even the life that could have been.
Some wounds are just that deep.. they never really heal and in the end they get what they wanted all along... or the people handing out the cuts do and I just guess I should have known all along... should have understood all this before now. . But it's just to little to late... the abusers win this one.
Nothingness. . . . .
February 6, 2013
With you...
I am with you... even if doubt creeps in and the thoughts shift to things that are in the world of the future, the unknown, that place that we all think about from time to time and it's always there. I am with you the whole time, in your heart, mind and soul. Each time you start feeling like it's to much, that life is hard and without fairness. I am with you. When the lows are real low. I am with you. I know it's hard, but play the movie of good thoughts and see the smiles and feel the laughter that has happened, times that you have lived and enjoyed with all your being... There are many, probably more than you can even remember, but it's all there, on your data between the ears..
I am with you... When you find that place, where you see the world as it is, the wonderment of existence that it can be. No one is beyond the touch of love, included you and I know it's true. Without the love you've had the continuance of it would probably seem mute, but you are there now, fighting for it and for what, if done right, will give you all the keys to not only self love and trust, but with the ones around you who also love you..
I am with you... While you wait. While you feel, using space and time the way you need it... I am with you there, here and everywhere. Nothing will ever change that. Somethings are just. They are, period. I am very happy for that, to have that love to hold on to, to know that I am with you in mind and spirit. Knowing that it will be worth all things... I remember, which means I am with you and you with me...
I am with you... When you find that place, where you see the world as it is, the wonderment of existence that it can be. No one is beyond the touch of love, included you and I know it's true. Without the love you've had the continuance of it would probably seem mute, but you are there now, fighting for it and for what, if done right, will give you all the keys to not only self love and trust, but with the ones around you who also love you..
I am with you... While you wait. While you feel, using space and time the way you need it... I am with you there, here and everywhere. Nothing will ever change that. Somethings are just. They are, period. I am very happy for that, to have that love to hold on to, to know that I am with you in mind and spirit. Knowing that it will be worth all things... I remember, which means I am with you and you with me...
January 31, 2013
Life and Curve balls...
Life is, well, it goes on doesn't it?
Goes on, each minute, each hour, each day, each week and that's a good thing.
Space and time change nothing, life moves on no matter what space you take up
or what time it is. People have to move forward and live life, try and find happiness
in the things that each has in their life. Nothing will ever change that. Even when we
are gone from this place, life, it will go on and space and time will be something
no one can know for sure, a heaven a hell or whatever.. I believe most in the karma
of this life, trying ones best, failing sometimes yes, but really trying to make the best
out of the situation one finds themselves in. Try and be happy, give love and affection
to those who deserve it and just be an honest person.. When people stand and tell you
lies, call you this and that.... Worry most about your character, that's the real you...your
reputation is what people think about you and that very much likely has nothing to with
the reality of who you really are. Be true to yourself, be giving, even when you know
your good heart is being stringed, and just remember that karma is watching somehow
and sleep good at night.
Once in a while you get a curve ball and you have to have patience with it, with karma, it will
work in the way it always has, uncontrolled by us, maybe except in what we do and
say. Maybe even what we don't do and say. Maybe what we even think? Who knows
the truth? Maybe it works in ways we don't understand and maybe just maybe it's not
for us to understand. Maybe we will never know in this state of being, maybe we have
to go on to the next phase of the human being? Maybe and maybe not...
We all are here to do what we are here to do. How we find the do, that it might come to us,
that it might be pre destiny, planned ahead...who can really know, except that we, each of
us can change our own destiny, we can make choices that will change the course of history
not only for ourselves but the ones around us... it changes the universe in a sense, fate, love
and maybe even our souls. We just can't know for sure...
Gotta go.. well, not go but something...... ;-)
Goes on, each minute, each hour, each day, each week and that's a good thing.
Space and time change nothing, life moves on no matter what space you take up
or what time it is. People have to move forward and live life, try and find happiness
in the things that each has in their life. Nothing will ever change that. Even when we
are gone from this place, life, it will go on and space and time will be something
no one can know for sure, a heaven a hell or whatever.. I believe most in the karma
of this life, trying ones best, failing sometimes yes, but really trying to make the best
out of the situation one finds themselves in. Try and be happy, give love and affection
to those who deserve it and just be an honest person.. When people stand and tell you
lies, call you this and that.... Worry most about your character, that's the real you...your
reputation is what people think about you and that very much likely has nothing to with
the reality of who you really are. Be true to yourself, be giving, even when you know
your good heart is being stringed, and just remember that karma is watching somehow
and sleep good at night.
Once in a while you get a curve ball and you have to have patience with it, with karma, it will
work in the way it always has, uncontrolled by us, maybe except in what we do and
say. Maybe even what we don't do and say. Maybe what we even think? Who knows
the truth? Maybe it works in ways we don't understand and maybe just maybe it's not
for us to understand. Maybe we will never know in this state of being, maybe we have
to go on to the next phase of the human being? Maybe and maybe not...
We all are here to do what we are here to do. How we find the do, that it might come to us,
that it might be pre destiny, planned ahead...who can really know, except that we, each of
us can change our own destiny, we can make choices that will change the course of history
not only for ourselves but the ones around us... it changes the universe in a sense, fate, love
and maybe even our souls. We just can't know for sure...
Gotta go.. well, not go but something...... ;-)
January 27, 2013
Everything....
Whew.... feel like I just missed being hit by planet x, yes, it's official everything is possible!
From the grasp of doom, the goblins of some fairy tail or something like that. It has been so eloquently put as Simplicity. The simple idea, thing, gadget, concept, feeling, thought... the simple ''whatever'', is almost always the right one.
KISS
Keep it simple stupid.
Sound advise, that is crazy enough, overlooked by probably most people, at least me... Maybe that's because I never really had any simple things like the ones above mentioned. Maybe for me it was having so many difficult choices to make along the way that made me the way I am. Maybe that's why learning the real concept behind the idea Simplicity makes it easier to understand why sometimes making the simple choice is harder to do, more difficult to even recognize at all maybe and thus making good soild choices or the ''simple'' ones is harder for some than others... Interesting for me at least.
From the grasp of doom, the goblins of some fairy tail or something like that. It has been so eloquently put as Simplicity. The simple idea, thing, gadget, concept, feeling, thought... the simple ''whatever'', is almost always the right one.
KISS
Keep it simple stupid.
Sound advise, that is crazy enough, overlooked by probably most people, at least me... Maybe that's because I never really had any simple things like the ones above mentioned. Maybe for me it was having so many difficult choices to make along the way that made me the way I am. Maybe that's why learning the real concept behind the idea Simplicity makes it easier to understand why sometimes making the simple choice is harder to do, more difficult to even recognize at all maybe and thus making good soild choices or the ''simple'' ones is harder for some than others... Interesting for me at least.
January 20, 2013
Nothing and Everything
How can it be that in this life that nothing and everything sometimes become one. If one wants a specific thing in this life, maybe more than anything ever wanted, what does that person do? When doing nothing or everything can possibly change the outcome of whether or not the person achieves the ever so wished thing?
I don't know the answer, even though I have wondered about this many times and in many situations in this life... Of course I have my assumptions, beliefs, superstitions, experiences, successes, failures... everything and nothing.
The strangeness of that fact is, for me, alarmingly clear now, that life, everything, gives us just that and nothing. Depending on where are at that exact moment in space and time... of course this is just my own meaning, taken from just my life, my own experience in this existence and absolutely nothing more. I probably am way off. . .
Who knows, maybe that has some of a Buddhist way of thinking or not? Anyway, maybe one has to make that choice somehow, to accept that life, the meaning of life, the secret, whatever, is to accept that everything is inter connected somehow, but at the same time, nothing and everything can decide the eventual fate of just about anything. The small things, the small things that people really don't think about at all in their day to day life, these are the things, or maybe it's the way we all react to them that creates us, the people we are??
The small things, what we say, how we say it, what we do and how we do that. What we don't do, what we don't say. These are in many ways our daily lives, the small interactions of ourselves, within our lives and the ones we have touched. Maybe one does not really realize the importance of all the small things until it's to late, or maybe that's everything, figuring that out, or maybe we find out that it's probably nothing and there we go, back at the drawing board and continue.
How can we know for sure when someone is for real? How can another human being really trust another?
Say an abused child for example. How does that person learn anything about love and trust when at an early age he or she starts getting the crap beaten out of them? The child, as a proven medical fact have a very hard time with those two things, if not an impossible task that will lead that person down the road of tough times. Unless.... unless the person can somehow pull himself or herself out of the reality he or she finds themselves in and survive.
What is that though? Survival? Does that sound or mean like everything or nothing? I bet I can make an argument for both and maybe it will lead me into some better form of understanding about this life... Because I have to be honest... if it show's to be the later, then I guess it's all over.....
I don't know the answer, even though I have wondered about this many times and in many situations in this life... Of course I have my assumptions, beliefs, superstitions, experiences, successes, failures... everything and nothing.
The strangeness of that fact is, for me, alarmingly clear now, that life, everything, gives us just that and nothing. Depending on where are at that exact moment in space and time... of course this is just my own meaning, taken from just my life, my own experience in this existence and absolutely nothing more. I probably am way off. . .
Who knows, maybe that has some of a Buddhist way of thinking or not? Anyway, maybe one has to make that choice somehow, to accept that life, the meaning of life, the secret, whatever, is to accept that everything is inter connected somehow, but at the same time, nothing and everything can decide the eventual fate of just about anything. The small things, the small things that people really don't think about at all in their day to day life, these are the things, or maybe it's the way we all react to them that creates us, the people we are??
The small things, what we say, how we say it, what we do and how we do that. What we don't do, what we don't say. These are in many ways our daily lives, the small interactions of ourselves, within our lives and the ones we have touched. Maybe one does not really realize the importance of all the small things until it's to late, or maybe that's everything, figuring that out, or maybe we find out that it's probably nothing and there we go, back at the drawing board and continue.
How can we know for sure when someone is for real? How can another human being really trust another?
Say an abused child for example. How does that person learn anything about love and trust when at an early age he or she starts getting the crap beaten out of them? The child, as a proven medical fact have a very hard time with those two things, if not an impossible task that will lead that person down the road of tough times. Unless.... unless the person can somehow pull himself or herself out of the reality he or she finds themselves in and survive.
What is that though? Survival? Does that sound or mean like everything or nothing? I bet I can make an argument for both and maybe it will lead me into some better form of understanding about this life... Because I have to be honest... if it show's to be the later, then I guess it's all over.....
January 14, 2013
Doors of this life. . .
If I was to say the past week or so has made me think about life, the choices we make, the good ones, the bad ones, choices that define us, not only who we are now but who will have the chance to be in the future.
Some might argue that each choice one makes through life opens and closes the doors of our life itself. What does one do when the life one lives is turned upside down?
Is it possible to be so confused about someone that each word, each sentence that is turned upside down in one's mind that it might be better to do maybe the hardest thing to do here in life. . ?
Taking what life gives you is an important part of being happy Id think.
How to take the hardest things in this life, that chill your blood, make
you wish for anything else and actually make sense out of it all and learn from it.
Sometimes your heart gets broken, your insides feeling the fall to the bottom.
Making a choice and living with it, even if it is going to change life possibly forever and always!
Living with meaning, that is important and something sometimes has to give way to make it happen. .
Luck and unlucky.
January 9, 2013
Finding Time
Finding Time, can anyone tell me where I can actually do this?? Time to do everything I want in this thing called life, time to love, time to heal, time to laugh, time to cry, time to wish, time to daydream, time to read, time to play, time to be friends, time to be coworker, time to be Pappa, time to ignore the bills, time to vacation, time for music, time for practice, time for just being.... time time time.
To Whomever that actually came up of this thing we refer to as time, kiss my grits... Just think if the human beings understanding of time was so to say in a state of non? That our way of understanding time was just not there, gone, forever.. how old would we live to be then? Getting to work on time? Is that your first thought? Uff if it was, but I am sure in a culture that has no clock time so to speak, I would assume that getting somewhere would be based on the position of the sun for example?? Knowing this to be a historical fact, it's kind of fun for me to actually dwell in that place for a second and just think about the what if's and what not's...
Anyway, I wish finding time was actually possible, like finding a lucky rock or finding ones way in this life. It is not possible. Sorry but I do believe that and guess fell like the time I have is the time I have, make the best out of it, each and every day, succeeding some days and failing others, hoping along the way the the success out way the failures by a good number. I guess, hoping and wishing for things is just another human trait that maybe has some effect on the outcome of our lives, maybe not. Maybe it's all just a random series of events that somehow shape your life along the way you live it...? Who knows? For sure, not me.
Well, I don't really have to go, but I am done writing now, and I guess I don't really know if I'll have anything more to write about either.... finding time to do this blogging is not all about that actually, it's about having the desire to share, and I guess I don't really see why that is so important really... I mean really who gives a crap about it? I really don't know and I am about done giving two thoughts more about it. I have to pay another sum to keep it going... not a big one 10 bucks, but I seriously doubt this thing has a future....
So, unless I have some huge change of heart or something, a reason to keep this going... well, thanks to the people who have commented thru the years and I guess the only thing left to say is I really do hope everything works out for everyone...........
To Whomever that actually came up of this thing we refer to as time, kiss my grits... Just think if the human beings understanding of time was so to say in a state of non? That our way of understanding time was just not there, gone, forever.. how old would we live to be then? Getting to work on time? Is that your first thought? Uff if it was, but I am sure in a culture that has no clock time so to speak, I would assume that getting somewhere would be based on the position of the sun for example?? Knowing this to be a historical fact, it's kind of fun for me to actually dwell in that place for a second and just think about the what if's and what not's...
Anyway, I wish finding time was actually possible, like finding a lucky rock or finding ones way in this life. It is not possible. Sorry but I do believe that and guess fell like the time I have is the time I have, make the best out of it, each and every day, succeeding some days and failing others, hoping along the way the the success out way the failures by a good number. I guess, hoping and wishing for things is just another human trait that maybe has some effect on the outcome of our lives, maybe not. Maybe it's all just a random series of events that somehow shape your life along the way you live it...? Who knows? For sure, not me.
Well, I don't really have to go, but I am done writing now, and I guess I don't really know if I'll have anything more to write about either.... finding time to do this blogging is not all about that actually, it's about having the desire to share, and I guess I don't really see why that is so important really... I mean really who gives a crap about it? I really don't know and I am about done giving two thoughts more about it. I have to pay another sum to keep it going... not a big one 10 bucks, but I seriously doubt this thing has a future....
So, unless I have some huge change of heart or something, a reason to keep this going... well, thanks to the people who have commented thru the years and I guess the only thing left to say is I really do hope everything works out for everyone...........
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